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Tomorrow I’m off to the Brunch Run to A) Eat bacon and B) Acquire a new PR. My original goal was to break 25 minutes, but I honestly have not put the work in to do that. Of that, I am not proud.

cone of shame

However, sub-26 (a big PR) is certainly within my grasp. Katie has even agreed to pace me through it. Now, I just have to want this PR pretty bad. How bad?

Bad enough to focus.

Bad enough to hurt.

Bad enough to puke.

That’s right. I’m finally coming to terms with the fact that 5k’s are just… always… hard. And in the words of my friend Tim, you really should be hurting within two minutes of starting one. So, I’m readying myself for a goal that is in reach, with a high level of discomfort. I’m not saying puking is definitely in the cards tomorrow. I’m just saying I need to be prepared for the possibility if this is actually a goal I want to achieve, and if, frankly, I want to continue to better my 5k times (which I really, really do).

And so, I present to you my Prepare to Puke Playlist. It’s approximately 26:45 so it should get me well over the finish line, possibly even providing some musical accompaniment for the predicted wretching.

1. Where the Streets Have No Name, U2. There’s no better tune to get you pumped up for the start of a race. It’s epic. EPIC I SAY.

2. Beat It, Michael Jackson. Do I really need to explain this one? “Show ’em how funky, strong is your FIGHT.”

3. Everybody Have Fun Tonight, Wang Cheung. This one makes my feet move, and I think there’s something there in the subtle irony of talking about having fun when I’m already hurting at mile 1.5.

4. Stayin’ Alive, The Bee Gees. By this point I suspect I shall want to lay down and die. This song will be motivation to… you got it… stay alive. Stay in my race.

5. Good Time, Owl City. This one always makes me think of Ragnar, which are the fun races I reward myself with after all the hard work of the rest of the year. It makes me smile and think happy thoughts. I’m hoping it will distract me from the pain.

6. My Body, Young the Giant. I’m late to the party on this song, as I just discovered it a couple of weeks ago. (Shout out to Jenny and Andrea, who introduced me to this song through their Nuun Hood to Coast videos.) It’s perfect for an end-of-race push–“My body tells me nooooooooo! But! I won’t quit! ‘Cause I want more!!!”

So, that’s my playlist for tomorrow. If you need puke-preparation, feel free to use these songs. Wish me luck. And at least if I puke, there’ll be more room for bacon, right? Right?